A letter to my 7 year old self

I only wish you knew…

I wish I could tell how amazing you are and make you believe it, I wish I could hug you and stop all the pain. Because you wear your heart on your sleeve others can see it and so many grab it and try to break it or stamp on it. Oh my darling, I can’t tell you why, even now I am 40 I still don’t know why the other children are so cruel to you. I wish I could tell you you haven’t done anything wrong. You do not need to feel ashamed, you do not need to feel like it is your fault.

I found something out just this week my darling – we are autistic and we are ADD. I think you are even ADHD, that means you are excitable, you talk a lot and you so desperately want others to like you. I think other children see that in you and they don’t like it. You feel different and you are different .. but you are different in the most wonderful way.

School will not be your safe place in fact it is going to take you a while before you find your ‘tribe’, before you find the love of your life and before you feel whole …but there are so many adventures ahead of you. It will be a winding road with so many parts to the story some sad and some incredibly happy but all of them leading you to a place where you are safe and you are loved more than you could ever imagine.

I only wish you knew…

Published by OutsideTheBoxHelen

Hi, I’m Helen this I am autistic, ADD & part of a neurodivergent family. I am also an academic in Autism research and a teacher. This is my blog about my journey through life while being an ‘outside the box’ person; sharing real life experiences, poetry and academic research on neurodivergence.

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